Wedding Party Profiles
Just who are these Smiths and Thompsons, and which friends are coming? Time for a dramatis personae / who's who.
Here come the girls....
Sarah's close friend of 21 years. Partner of Tom (the Best Man) and instrumental in introducing Bernard to Sarah. Jess has always been there for Sarah, through drunken teenage discos, drunken holidays in their 20s and drunken soirees in their 30s.. hold on, there's a theme here! When she's not busy planning a town you may see her running in the park.
Only recently married herself, Trish has survived co-owning a house with Sarah.
Jo and Sarah lived together at Uni, worked together as holiday reps in Majorca and spent a year together in Australia.
Sarah's friend since age 4, still insists on calling Sarah "wolfie" for no good reason.
Sarah's little sister has recently taken up netball and has been asked to join the local team after scroing two goals! Laura likes baking cakes, is an avid collector Pandora charms and enjoys her job as a Primary school teacher.
Such men are, by definition, "the best".
Tom was in the year below Bernard at University, but luckily he is now really old too. Playing keys, triggering samples and banging on bongos in various band line-ups with Bernard over the years, Tom has recently spent an unusual amount of time editing video footage of deformed genitalia. Tom's wise decision to get together with the lovely Jess Nash provided the opportunity for Bernard to assess her friends, ultimately leading to the successful stalkin...I mean courting of Sarah Smith.
The awesome responsibilities of Best Man are so huge, Bernard originally asked two likely lads to share them. When Bernard met Simon in 1992, he appeared to live inside a knee-length smelly purple jumper and had hair down to his arse. Simon's lost the jumper and most of the hair, but none of his charm. Sadly Simon cannot make it Santorini, so Tom will have to manage on his own once we get there. However, Simon has done sterling work in co-organising the Stag and still falls into the category "Best".
Sarah's crew - the Jet Set
Sophie did her last placement at Sarah's school this summer and has now passed as a teacher with flying colours. Sophie is an excellent make up artist and worked at the London fashion week. Sophie spent her year abroad in Italy.
Sarah did her first placement as a trainee teacher at George Dixon school and has just qualified as a primary school teacher. Sarah is moving to Moseley in the summer and is looking forward to her new job teaching year 6 students.
|Suvi and Ari|
Sarah met Suvi in Majorca in 1999 and they have since hooked up on several different continents. Now working as cabin crew Suvi splits her between seeing Ari in Finland and, well, endless exotic destinations.
Sharing a passion for languages with Sarah, Stephanie speaks French, Italian and Spanish. Not Greek though. Impressively fit and healthy.
Teaching French and German clearly leaves Elizabeth as ready for a bottle of wine on a Friday as Sarah and they regularly get together for this purpose. Ask her to demonstrate her new "zumba" moves.
|Ange and Stu|
Ange was the first person Sarah met when she moved to Birmingham and shares her wanderlust, forever off on exotic trips. Stu likes fast cars and we hear he is a mean chef.
|Ruth and Declan|
Ruth has been friends with Sarah since primary school, and is now to be found either in London with Declan, jetting off around the world speaking Spanish with work, or visiting exotic places such as Colombia and India this year.
|Trish and Tim|
Great hosts and guests, "Trim" are good company. Trish can always be relied on for the warmest of smiles and Tim has almost certainly recently invested in a good boxset. They're off to another destination wedding in Morocco this year - a decent excuse for another holiday!
|Toni and Pete|
Brought together by an office romance at Chelsea and Westminster Hospital, Toni is a hot yoga officionado while Pete runs marathons. Their flat is very tidy.
|Jo and Pete|
Both from South Sheilds, Jo and Pete are full of get up and go and spontaneity. Ballroom dancing, salsa - they've tried the lot. Keen campers and gig goers.
Bernard's crew - tough, twisted and street-wise
|Sarah & Tom Abnett|
As well as being keen cyclists and gardeners, the Abnetts are members of Birmimgham's most select and exclusive organisation, Cinema Club.
|Alicia Zborowska & Allan Walters|
Alicia used to work with Bernard and continues to be a brilliant source of both gossip and solid advice. Allan is responsable for a seemingly endless stream of terrible, woeful, practically unforgivable jokes.
Bernard's best friend from University, Ben now lives with his lovely wife and charming two children near Edinburgh. Still, he's doing the decent thing and abandoning them for the weekend. Time to party like it's 1994.
|Deb & Will Egleton|
Deb spent a lot of time at University listening to Bernard talk rubbish, and occasionally she still lets him talk rubbish now. Will is probably the best person there is to discuss movies with, certainly about Star Wars. Little Toby is not coming, so we're expecting extreme alcoholism.
Mark "Mougar" is the guitarist in The Undercocks, the greatest band on earth. Once you have managed to work out his Black Country accent he is very entertaining. Lisa must be very understanding.
Richard is drummer in The Undercocks, rides a Triumph motorbike and reguarly photographs scantilly clad women for money. Leaving lovely wife Ann and his two kids behind, he's going to be armed with a camera and, crucially, sober. Dickie Cock will make sure we don't burn the place down.
Sarah's uncle Mark loves rugby and is full of infectious good cheer.
Sarah's gran. Loves scif fi movies and cooks a mean egg mornay.
Sarah's mum. Mad keen on border collies, renovating houses and bringing home a bargain!
Sarah's dad. Champion angler and 10 pin bowling enthusiast.
|Phil & Charlotte Bubb|
Sarah's uncle Phil and aunt Charlotte. Phil is bass supremo with Romeo Down.
|The Bubb Boys|
Charlotte and Phil's sons are getting bigger all the time. Matthew (16), David (14), Jonathan (11) and Simon (8).
|Laura & Wayne Beighton|
Sarah's younger sister and brother in law. Absolutely no motorbikes for Wayne on this holiday.
The latest addition to the family. Very cute and should make a perfect Page Boy.
The revered matriarch of the Thompson clan, "Mum" to some, "Granny" to others.
|David and Juliette|
Bernard's nephew David and partner. David is an astonishingly good artist and works in animation.
Tiphanie is Bernard's littlest niece and will have just finished the French equivalent of A Level exams - she deserves a holiday!
|Clare & Olivier Cazeaux|
Bernard's second-eldest sister and husband. Clare and Olivier are MUCH better at kayaking than us.
|Joanna & Brian Pardon|
Bernard's baby sister (only 11 years his senior) and husband Brian will have to abandon super-active hound Kena for a few days.